CLAMP, I know you own me, but can you try not to weird me out?

Check the fic blog for details.

Motherfucker.

Apparently my bandwidth at topcities went over, and now I can't get at my site, and tonight was when I was planning to download all the .html files so I could send them to my sempai for hosting over at her domain.

I have to go cry now.

Our house is a raging pit of pestilence. ^_^

I mean, it's so ridiculous it's getting funny. My sister had her wisdom teeth out, so she's drugged to the gills; my mom's going to go have her radiation therapy at one o'clock; and I've got raging PMS and another wave of massive clove cigarette cravings. (And, yes, I haven't touched a cigarette since February, but my addictions come back to bite me in the ass at the weirdest times.)

Flipping through ugly clothes catalogues with my drugged-up sister is really funny, too. The word "fugly" was used a lot.

The really good news, though, is that after today, my mom only has seven more radiation treatments to go until she's cancer-free.

My friends have all been wonderfully kind through this ordeal--so, everyone, thank you so much.

Now, my little Tokyo Babylon manga, come to mommy...

So my mother and I saw "Signs".

I was so terrified I was in tears. I was shaking for about an hour after the movie was over. Even now I don't want to take out my contacts, because if I can't see, I won't know if I'm safe.

I scare very easily. Most of my dreams are nightmares, or at least nightmarish; I don't know why. I'm not an adrenaline junkie at all, and yet more often than not my dreams are full of this terrible sense of urgency, a feeling that there's something I have to do, and can't do, and that people die because of me.

Maybe the thing that makes them terrible is that I know I'm the only person who realises some kind of awful truth. In my dreams I am offered power to save or destroy the world, I have visions, I hear guiding voices. I'm unique, the Person With A Clue, and I can't control what I hear or do or understand.

The strangest thing is, movies that scare me shitless sometimes keep the nightmares at bay.

I don't know if they will tonight, though.

Guh. Poor blog. *pets it*

This week has been... well, interesting. Con hangover wore off nicely, except for the really nasty neck cramp, and work with my granddad was... well, excruciating but not unbearable. He gave me a baby picture of my father which I found while we were cleaning out boxes to go into storage--not only is it a darling picture, but the frame is old and silvery and has sakura branches and blossoms all over it.

Apparently my late grandmother really, really loved Asian art (particularly Japanese; Dad was born in Japan), and she's largely responsible for the Japanese screens and paintings in granddad's apartment. Some things run in the family, I guess... I was thinking of spending some of my first paycheck on a new kimono or haori from eBay.
(You know, it's weird. Sometimes I think I'm one of the few people who buys kimono from eBay for the purpose for which they were originally intended. Which reminds me, Bridget, when you get back to town, bring the white kimono I got you and we'll take pictures! :D)

Oh! And I almost forgot. The picture of me on a leash below was taken--and hosted--by the very gracious (and cute) girls at Plaid Dragon dot net. ^_^ Gotta give credit where it's due!

White trenchcoat: $8, Salvation Army.
Black turtleneck: $10, Nordstrom.
Chain leash: $15, PetCo.
Con registration: $50, Otakon.

Being Otakon's only Subaru-on-a-leash:



priceless.

If you saw an older-version Subaru on a leash at Otakon sporting a sign that said "Will YAOI for Seishirou" (and which later read "Will YAOI for CASH" with Seishirou's name crossed out), towering over other cosplayers and losing arguments with a slightly shorter Seishirou in a suit and a blood-red tie...

That was me, and if you took pictures, I want them.

Very quick last-minute social bloggage.

I have to pimp Renfield's "Tiercel" story, simply because it's so damn good. She's been helping me create the otherworld of Imago since I came up with the idea last summer--which means she's had to put up with my somewhat sporadic outbursts of creativity (and vague understanding of world-building) for more than a year. ^_^ But putting that aside, the story's just damn good: it's very finely crafted fantasy/action, with wonderful characters and very real dialogue.
*pimp* *pimp*

Shi! *wave wave* IM me sometime and we'll talk fic!

Oh, and I've added Cocoa to my links list. I talked to her the other night, and honestly, I think she must be called "Cocoa" because she's so darn sweet. :D (Cocoa-chan, I'll do my best to find your friends at Otakon!)

Dude, Bridget, I saw "Kiki's Delivery Service" on the Disney Channel the other day. If I ever said anything bad about Miyazaki in my fits of pique over having to see "Princess Mononoke" eight times, I TAKE IT ALL BACK. KDS is the most adorable thing ever.

...more after dinner, I have to sew snaps on these armbands... 9_9

My grandfather's Strom Thurmond impression is just about the funniest thing ever.

And I wish I had time to blog more about today's events, but I have a Misao costume to work on. To the SeamstressCave!

Gah, what a weekend. Very busy. I saw my little sister's play--she's a wonderful, wonderful actress, and so natural that I was just amazed.

The next few days are going to be something of a "Diary Of A Mad Cosplayer" for me; I'm making a Misao costume for somebody, and have to get started on that today. Plus I have to find my black turtlenecked tank top so I can wear it as Subaru (and I need to finish my Seven Seals armband, as the person I've suckered into cosplaying Seishirou might wear the one I made that just says "X" on it).

The Misao costume is easy, as I have an existing pattern I can use... the hard part will be making my sleep-deprived brain choke down the idea of pinning and cutting fabric tonight. As Kenshin would say, "OrooooooOooooOoOo."

Oh, and for those of you who are curious, the prologue of Tabula Rasa is up on CLAMPesque. Dunno what my posting schedule is going to be like, but I anticipate finishing Chapter 6 before Friday... I can always count on Kanoe to behave, so getting her bits of Chapter 7 down before I leave will be a breeze. ^_^

And now, because I thought it was funny:

Lisa: I get the feeling he [Sugita Tomokazu, also known as Subaru in XTV] was trying to make Subaru a little more... Um... Manly.
Becky: Stupid anime. Sucking all the gay right out the series. Foo.
Lisa: And it's like... you know, Subaru is masculine. He's really not swishy at all. You don't have to prove it to us.
Becky: Yeah. He's just really pretty at the same time.
Lisa: (...why did I just picture XTV!Subaru saying "Sorry, Kamui, I'd tie your tie but I have to go home and make a manwich.")

Yesterday can be summed up with a simple song lyric:
What a day this has been, what a rare mood I'm in!

So I get up and discover that not only has Tabula Rasa gotten pimped out, but somebody followed one of those links and sent me mail about TR! *dansu*

And then, when I went to go read for my grandfather, he announced he's going to start paying me. Which means I'm going to have a nice chunk of cash for Otakon.

Now, to go send off some art! *hastens to the batcave*

...ugh, I'm so embarrassed.

So my grandfather, who is blind, asked me to escort him to a function at the White House to which he was invited. I accepted, and this morning I got up at six-thirty to put on my new white suit and girly blouse and go guide my grandfather around.

So we get out on the lawn, in the hot sunshine, and there are no chairs. Okay, I tell myself, this will be fine. I can be polite and not fidget and stay standing until this is over.

So it was hot--about ninety degrees by nine o'clock, with the heat index already over a hundred--and I started feeling not-terribly-great. But I thought, hey, if I can wait this out, I can go home and have something to eat and drink and I'll be golden.

So then the dizziness hits, and I feel like I've suddenly gone underwater because I can't hear anything, and then everything goes black.

The next thing I know I'm on my knees, trying to get air, and someone's hand is in mine and I'm trying to tell them to get a doctor.

Yep. The first time I've ever been to the White House, and I passed out from dehydration.

I'm okay now, but...

I'm so embarrassed.

...nyarmygod.

Jobs. Today. Two of them. Hell on toast.

First, volunteer job, reading a textbook onto tape. Writing sourcebook for 12th-graders, supposedly.
I say "supposedly" because the vocabulary words were obscenely easy. Why would you assume a 12th grader does not know the word "brisk", or the word "stammer", or, hell, even the word "wretched"?!

Then, not-quite-volunteer job, reading to my grandfather. Now, he's not actually so bad by himself. But my step-grandmother is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, and is incredibly paranoid. They fought over my head while I sat there proofreading an Op-Ed piece my grandfather had written. I left with a massive headache.

Mom took me out for dinner after I came home from Granddad's. And I still need an aspirin.

(And on the note of things that gave me a headache, there's a draft of a fanthropology essay in my fic blog. I wrote that thing in about an hour before work. Writing immediately after taking ADD meds = HEAD RUSH.)

Wuh... my poor neglected blog... hard few days, though. Bloggage, I hope, will make it better. ^_^;

Particularly if it's social bloggage!

B00b135!

Renfield, somebody has to record that song. XD

Becky-onee-saaaan. If I write up a fanthropology article on women and the X fandom, will you post it?

K-Tan, if you're reading this, I'm going out tomorrow to get the fabric for the Misao costume. I believe I can have it done by the middle of next week.

TK, D-chan, you guys were in the dream I had last night. I was at a con and you guys were both on the artist's alley, and I didn't recognise either of you until I saw TK drawing Yuuto and Subaru chibis. And then you guys glomped me because I was cosplaying an unusually tall Subaru. XD

Kira-bop! The art-pack and Weiss Kreuz CDs should be ready to go by Fridayish... I can also burn you all of SailorStars if you want it, since I'm getting ready to clear those episodes off of my computer and send them to Renfield.

And now... off to do a little tiny bit of work on that Yuuto-in-the-bathtub picture...

(BTW, I apologise in advance for not being online much tonight. I'm going to watch the X movie and go to bed early, as I have to get up and put a suit on tomorrow. *JITTERY*)

Boy, what a week.

I got hopelessly lost going to meet a friend yesterday. That really sucked; ADD and my late-bloomer-ness on their own are sort of embarrassing, but when those things actually come out and keep me from doing things that a normal woman my age should be able to do (like, oh, realising that I have to walk in a straight line for three blocks to get where I'm going)--that's kind of humiliating.

On the bright side, I finally got Chapter Five of Tabula Rasa finished--and I have a hosting offer for my fics and fan-content. Wooo! :D I just wanna see if I can get some more content done before I start sending my new hostess the files...

Watch the fic blog for updates, as I'm having a Weekend Of Planning Out Creative Shit. Probably to compensate for yesterday.